• *new* Fred Frantic Story -   "Do I want an E?" said Steve. "I'd love an E. Give me an E. This is what I need, an E. Can we have some more E's. This is actually an E party. And E is an illegal drug. Good heaven's, I'm encouraging E abuse now..
  
  
• *new*Glasgow Story - I'd described Woody as "the very picture of the furtive pornography addict, with eyes that slopped round like wet oysters behind his thick glasses."
  
  
• *new* Newcastle Story - I can't tell my trip-hop from my arse-hole. So I asked Jon. "What sort of music is this?"
  "I dunno," he said.

I called the waiter over - He brought one over with a fancy label and displayed it across his forearm with great ceremony. "Yeah, OK, that'll do," I said, having no idea what it was. He poured a drop in my glass, the way they do, so that I could taste it. The wine tasted exactly like Steve's home made Dandelion wine. "Very nice," I said.

I Met him in a pub - He was reading the woman's palm, stroking it lovingly. There were two pound coins on the table. This was obviously how he made his drinking money. When he'd finished, the old woman added another pound from her purse.

Politics and music don't mix?
But you can't deny that politics affects you. The cursory refusal to grant a license to the Tribal Gathering event recently shows that - whether politics and dancing mix or not - politics can have an influence on your leisure time and therefore on your dancing: in this case it can stop you enjoying your leisure time altogether.

Broad Oak
Well, Broad Oak has a history. It was compulsorily purchased some thirty years ago to make way for a reservoir. Only they never did build the reservoir. And since the late '60s it's been the scene of countless parties. How many of you remember Kevin Ayres or the Soft Machine? These were the hippest people back then. Kevin Ayres dyed his hair purple. He had a deep, sonorous voice, and his lyrics sounded dead cool when you were tripping.
more>>

Disco of my Mind.
My last column had me stuck in the crummy 1970s disco-of-my-mind. This column finds me stuck in an actual 1970s disco. It was the Starsky and Hutch night at the Bunker bar in Bagleys near Kings Cross.
Well it was a puzzle for me. I mean: the 1970s was my era. I was 18 in 1971 - 27 in 1980 - so the whole era is so entangled for me with my own sense of confused growing up that I have difficulty in getting a focus on it.
more>>